The ABCs of Death

The ABCs of Death

It almost sounds like a set set-up for a joke: “Twenty-five horror directors walk onto a movie set…” (I have a really funny punch line, but it’s somewhat off-color, so I’ll keep my highly offensive remarks to myself.)

Actually, there will be 26 directors in all for the new horror anthology The ABCs of Death. The title makes sense when paired with the kicker: “26 directors, 26 ways to die.”

The ABCs of Death is a clever premise – “Established directors and some of the most gifted emerging directors will make up the diverse roster of creative talent that will showcase 26 tales of mortality, beginning with the letter A and ending with the letter Z.”

I wish I was a film director instead of world-celebrated horror/sci-fi movie critic. I’d take the letter “Q” because I have this killer idea for a horror movie called Quack. It’s about a ghost duck that spookily rises from a haunted marsh and ecto-craps on duck hunters wearing nice camouflage vests. While that would be enough of a plot for most directors, I take it a step further. (No spoilers – wait ‘til it comes out.)

In production as of this writing, The ABCs of Death will be a “celebration of death in all its forms. From the shocking and exotic through to the banal and droll. The spectrum of cause will run from the accidental through to murder most foul. It is up to each director to interpret the letter (word) they are assigned.” Here’s the twist – each director will have six months, six weeks and six days to finish their short tale on death.

The 26th director will be found during a worldwide search. They don’t need to look any further – I’m right here.

Quack. Box office gold.

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