Battleship vs. Battleship

American Battleship

The Asylum, the “movie studio” that bloats themselves on the intellectual property of others, is set to do it again with American Battleship, a mock-off of the incoming sci-fi summer blockbuster Battleship. They could make a movie about you (mine would be a romantic comedy) and just add a word in front, middle or back of your name and it would be completely legal, and you couldn’t do a thing about it. (see Battle: Los Angeles vs. Battle of Los Angeles.)

Asylum’s attorneys must be billionaires.

Battleship

In American Battleship (I bet they had a power meeting in a gas station bathroom to come up with that title), a Naval warship goes explosive to explosive with an alien spacecraft in the middle of the ocean.

In Battleship, (based on the popular 1967 board game by Milton Bradley) a Naval warship goes explosive to explosive with an alien spacecraft in the middle of the ocean.

BattleshipAs with ALL Asylum rip-offs, they spend more on the advertising one-sheet than the movie itself. Shot primarily with hand-held cameras and sporting Art Institute-grade special effects, these “mockumentaries” not only test the legal system, but your patience as well. (I’m looking in your direction The Amityville Haunting, the worst excuse for a ghost movie ever in the history of cinema.)

BattleshipAmerican Battleship comes out before Battleship, as if anyone cares. And if you think this rip-off is an affront to your intellect (and it should be), Asylum has another one planned for summer: Alien Origins, which is right in time to chase the ambulance that is Prometheus, the highly-anticipated prequel to Alien (1979).

It is my fondest wish a Naval warship and/or acid-spitting alien pays a visit to Asylum’s corporate office and has a power meeting with their face. Knowing Asylum, they’d probably film it.

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