The Horror of Children

Childish GamesLittle kids in horror movies creep me the hell out. It all started with that Damien devil kid in The Omen (1979). Hardly any lines, but every time he stared someone down and that music in the key of D(amnation) came on, it gooned me out hard. Gave me the willies, he did.

Since then I’ve had the displeasure of testing my shaky bladder to the likes of those little Aryan race telepath kids with glowing eyeballs from Village of the Damned (1960), the way creepy ghost girl twins in The Shining (1979), and the rotted poltergeist boy from The Devil’s Backbone (2001), with a hole in his head and blood leaking out of it – upwards. There have been more, but that’s all my tract can take right now.

Childish GamesThere’s a new hair-raising kid on the block in the Spanish horror thriller Childish Games (due out March 9, 2012). As first reported by, Daniel and his wife (who shows her boobs and everything) assume foster parenthood of a seven year-old girl whose dad – a friend of Daniel – just committed suicide. There goes getting a pony for Christmas.

Childish GamesBut this isn’t a normal little girl with a stare that could stain fabric. Just her presence causes everyone to remember things best left unremembered. And she keeps saying stuff like “I know who you are” and “You know who I am.” That goons me out. Why can’t they talk like other non-spooky brats their own age with phrases like “totally rad,” “up yours, hippie,” and the time honored “Mom – Jeff’s peeing off the sun deck again!”

Childish GamesSo the little girl knows a dark secret. You can figure it out from the trailer, though. It’s totally rad. When you watch Childish Games just make sure you have a bathroom – or sun deck – nearby.

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