My Roommate, My Ghost

OccupantIt may not be immediately apparent, but there are a few downsides to having a ghost for a roommate. First, ghosts stay up all night. Pretty rough when you need to get up in the morning and go to work and you didn’t get any sleep due to all that moaning and chain rattling. Secondly, you have to wear shoes indoors all the time in case you step in a pile of invisible ectoplasm. (It’s usually warm and sticky following a session of moaning. Ahem. After it cools it’s like walking on cold Jell-O™.) And when it’s time to pay the rent, ghosts are nowhere to be seen.

This appears to be the quandary of Danny Hill in the new horror thriller movie Occupant. Danny is 25 and his grandma just kicked the bucket. And it gets even better – her demise gives Dan the chance to move into her rent-controlled apartment in Manhattan. And the place is freakin’ huge. Score!

Now comes the fun part – Danny has to lock himself inside the apartment for 12 days in order to secure the lease. That’s a New York landlord for you. The catch is Danny isn’t the only occupant.

Mind you, I used my super powers to determine that the “occupant” is a ghost. It could very well be one of those icky things that dropped off the Cloverfield monster while visiting New York in 2008 (you saw that movie, yes?), or an urban Chupacabra. Realistically, though, it’s probably just some stink hippies squatting in the crawl space.

If it is a ghost, Dan should consider getting him/her/it to co-sign on the lease. Then lay down some ground rules about that ectoplasm all over the bathroom floor.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: