Fangs of War: Vampire Military

Fangs of WarAfter watching zombies serve their country in horror war movies for the last several decades (click HERE to read my super duper comprehensive research), it’s about time vampires were drafted into military service. I don’t care if you eat or suck on your countrymen – every monster should represent their flag.

In Fangs of War (2012), creatures of the night finally get their marching orders. It’s 1944. Every country in the world worth mentioning were disrespecting each other with explode-y things. And the Nazi Supernatural Division (kinda like an after school 4-H club with guns) has taken up residency in Castle Dracula. Why? For one thing, well-appointed bathrooms. Secondly, to unlock the secret behind Dracula’s immortality. Why? Beats the Goth outta me.

A new spin on the whole 1897 Bram Stoker tale, you have OSS agent RM Renfield in place of the fly-eating lickspittle (I love that word), Lieutenant Jonathan Harker (formerly a real state agent who went to great lengths to get that sales commission), Dr. John Seward (house manager of an insane asylum), and Anna Van Helsing, daughter of Professor Abraham Van Helsing, world renowned vampire hunter (nice work if you can get it).

The plan is to unite forces (along with Texas sharpshooter Quincey Morris) to form a covert special ops team and surprise the Nazis and shoot them in the facial area. The plan looks good on paper. But someone forgot that Dracula and his brides (Drac’s a polygamist as well as a fancy dresser and blood connoisseur) also live in the castle and don’t like drop-in guests. In all, Fangs of War sounds like a face-shooting/face-biting good time.

With three wives, I bet Dracula gets nagged a lot.

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