Monsterological Measures Department

MMDMeteorological Agency Monsterological Measures Department (MMD).

A mouthful in any language. But this Japanese agency, formed to offset city wide collateral damage incurred by repeated shopping/beer runs by giant monsters, simply refer to themselves in the “easier on the tongue” MMD.

Here’s what the team says about their job responsibilities: “The work is challenging, the public is hostile, and the monsters are hungry. But the MMD crew has science, teamwork – and a legendary secret weapon on their side. Together we will try and save Japan and the universe!”

Best that Team MMD should concentrate on Japan and leave saving the Universe to  guys like Stephen Hawking and/or Space Jesus.

Monster Magnitude 9, a popular weekly TV show in Japantown, and was first introduced to your face in this here snoop bloggy blog on August 6, 2010 at 4:34 am. (I couldn’t sleep as I had an upset tummy. That, and there was a werewolf outside, throwing small rocks at my window, that dick.) Click HERE to read it.

MMDSince it’s really tough to get a good TV signal from Japan, you can now get the book version of MM9 here in United Statesland. Written by Hiroshi Yamamoto, MM9 will prison rape your wallet to the tune of $14.99. Those of you in Canada can expect to grab your ankles even harder as you’re gonna pay $16.99. MM9 is also available as an eBook on the Amazon Kindle, Apple’s iBooks Store, the Barnes & Noble’s Nook Books Store, and the Sony Reader Store for a much less penetrating $8.99.

Here’s some marketing to get you to cough up your fun yen: “Japan is beset by natural disasters all the time: typhoons, earthquakes…and giant monster attacks. A special anti-monster unit called the Meteorological Agency Monsterological Measures Department (MMD) has been formed to deal with natural disasters of high “monster magnitude.”

MMDThe press release goes on to say that “the B-movie monsters we know and love are basically treated like meteorological disasters along the lines of hurricanes or earthquakes by the MMD, who measures the “monster magnitude” of the various threats, and uses both science and folkloric knowledge to try to save Japan from constant repeated attack. It also gives an intriguing and wild answer to the question of how such enormous creatures could exist without the laws of physics kicking it.”

Laws of physics? A giant monster smacks a building. The building falls down. What part of wholesale destruction don’t you understand?

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