Israeli Zombies

Poisoned“I got a good idea – let’s make a zombie movie!”

In what could be the last country on Earth to make a living dead flick this side of Antarctica (still waiting for a flick about zombie penguins), Israel tosses one the compost pile with Poisoned (2011), a zombie comedy featuring laughs, flesh-eating and butt-scratching.

According to Undead Brainspasm, Poisoned has only been seen inside Israeli borders, being premiered on the Icon TLV science fiction and fantasy film festival in Tel Aviv. I hope you’re writing this down.

PoisonedSince it’s doubtful you’ll be getting Poisoned any time soon (OK, that didn’t sound right), here’s a rundown of the chowdown: “What makes this night different from all nights? On this night, the army really marches on its stomach! Passover at the base can be a real blow. Especially if you are a custodian stuck with a psychopathic commander, your high school crush has suddenly arrived, and all the soldiers have become flesh-eating zombies. But whose not used to suffering at the Seder?”

Educational content: “The Passover Seder is a Jewish ritual feast that marks the beginning of the Jewish holiday of Passover. It is conducted on the evenings of the 14th day of Nisan in the Hebrew calendar, and on the 15th by traditionally observant Jews living outside Israel.”

I’m down with that. Nisan makes good cars.

PoisonedSo yeah, yet another stinkin’ zombie film. I’ve written that sentence so many times, my keyboard looks like it was typed on with a ball peen hammer.

I get that zombie movies are a no-brainer (ahem). But for crying out loud, everyone stop doing undead movies right now. Enough already. Geez. You’re giving me a migraine. Hey, there’s good idea for a horror movie! Have some guy suffer from chronic headaches to the point where his brain lava lamps inside his skull. Then the particulate goo somehow regenerates and the guy comes back to life and…

Dammit.

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