The Legend of Grassman

The Legend of GrassmanI recently watched a documentary that scientifically disproves the existence of Bigfoot. This makes me: a). very upset, b.) highly depressed and c.) without a cryptid to believe in. I hate science so much.

But I may not have to resort to religion just yet. The Legend of Grassman, an indie low-budget horror film in the making (releasing 2012), is based on another TRUE mythological creature and is Ohio’s answer to Bigfoot. Whew!

First sighted by settlers in 1869 (why would people from the 1800s lie?), Grassman, a large hulking creature that’s both ape-like and hairy, tromps the grasslands of Ohio. Hence, his name. Good thing they didn’t see this monster crapping in a mud puddle or the name might not be so marketable.

This version of Sasquatch is way more vicious than his Pacific Northwest counterpart, attacking campers and hikers with vigor, leaving a trail mix of blood and guts all over the lawn and… Wait, that just gave me an idea. Hey hippies, go to Ohio and hang out with Grassman – he’ll smoke you up for FREE!

When Hairy Met Hairy

Bang – two birds, one stone. I totally heart you, Grassman.

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