Hardcore Horror

HalloweenMore than a little disappointed over the title of a new porn spoof of Halloween (1978). Simply titled, Halloween: XXX Porn Parody, there’s no slick double entendre or wicked pun. Take away the boobies and insightful dialogue and all that’s left is just dumb and dumber.

Mainstream movies have always been great inspiration for porn, and the horror/sci-fi/fantasy genres are no exceptions: Edward Penishands, Muffy the Vampire Layer, Whorrey Potter and the Sorcerer’s Balls, Flesh Gordon… But now the adult film industry, known for its ingenuity, is failing us with lazy titles like Scream XXX, The Blair Witch Project: A XXX Thriller, and The Twilight Zone Porn Parody. What jabs me in the neck is that they actually say “porn parody” in the title. You wouldn’t need to state the obvious if you gave ’em a twist like they did with Frankenweenie and The Human Sexipede.

Flesh GordonOn the flip side, just look at these great Hollywood mock-offs: Bi-Tanic, Missionary Position: Impossible, Rebel Without a Condom, Womb Raider, The Da Vinci Load, and my fav, How I Learned To Stop Clenching and Love the Plug. You’d have to be made of stone to pass up any of those.

Lilly LaBeauHalloween: XXX Porn Parody stars Lilly Labeau. I’ve not seen any of her films or plays, much less her coffee shop poetry slams, so I can’t comment whether or not she has what it takes to put groceries on the table. She looks nice, though.

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