A Box ’o Aliens

Alien VaultThere’s so many things we don’t know about the alien in the 1979 sci-fi ass-kick masterpiece Alien. We do know that it likes to make other aliens pop out of your chest like it was a stripper in a cake at a gentlemen’s party. But does the creature like a nice cold brewski every now and again? How about chicks – is it a leg man or more of a boobular action kinda guy? And what about his tastes in art and poetry? Is the alien heavy metal or smooth jazz?

You can find out about all of this and more with the September 17, 2011 release of Alien Vault: The Definitive Story of the Making of the Film, a new tell-all book in hardcover form written by Ian Nathan, a guy who appears to have two first names. Alien Vault (kind of a cool title, though I might’ve gone with A Box ’o Aliens), is 176 pages deep and will set you back $23.10 if you buy it at Amazon.com, whoever they are.

Alien VaultFrom the press release:  “Alien Vault reveals the details behind the making of the ground-breaking 1979 science-fiction horror film, one of the cult classics of the genre. This licensed, behind-the-scenes guide examines the creation of the movie via director Ridley Scott’s hand-drawn storyboards, concept sketches, script pages, spaceship blueprints, never-before-seen production photos, and rare collectible memorabilia.”

Alien VaultYeah, but it still doesn’t answer many burning questions, like how does the alien maintain proper dental health? If he goes to the dentist and the dentist asks him to rinse and spit, the alien’s mouth acid will melt the dentist into sizzling yogurt. Probably his assistant, too. And does he ever call his mom on Queen Alien Day, or just send a card? I haven’t read Alien Vault yet, so maybe the book does fill in the blanks.

Crap – I just gotta know.

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