Jeepers Creepers, It’s The Creeper!

Jeepers CreepersEight years between sequels is some hard time. But thank your local deity that the Jeepers Creepers franchise is still alive, unlike the victims of the Creeper himself, who eats eyeballs, facial skin and Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups™ filled with human instead of peanut butter.

Jeepers Creepers 3: Cathedral, the way overdue sequel to Jeepers Creepers 2 (2003), looks to be released in October, 2011. That’s 10 years since the Creeper first flew into our hearts and yanked it out back in 2001. If you’ve been keeping score (and why wouldn’t you?), production on JC3 began in 2009. But sources on the Internet (is that thing still around?) claim 2011 as the release date. And yet IMDb – the Internet Movie Database – lists the movie as having a 2013 premier. This is making me all headache-y. How about we split the difference and release it today?
Jeepers CreepersThere may not be a movie yet, but there is a plot. Apparently, there’s an Old West flashback sequence that explains who the Creeper is/was, and how he came to be a bat-winged eater of townfolk. Then the movie jumps to the year 2024 (I think have a birthday around then), and some chick named Trish is having freaky nightmares that her son will suffer the same buffet plate fate as her brother, whom the Creeper ate alive back in the old days. (They should call the new movie: Jeepers Creepers 3: Leftovers.)
Jeepers CreepersWhile we impatiently wait for Jeepers Creepers 3: Cathedral to hurry the hell up and get here, let’s take a look at what we know about this guy who shows up once every 23 years for 23 days, stuffs his face with your face, and then disappears for another 23 years. Rinse, lather, repeat. The Creeper has a cool underground cave laboratory, filled with talking take-out. He has a stylish old-time-y hat and floor length Goth jacket. He drives a Mad Max-type truck (the tabs look expired, though). He has huge bat wings and can fly like some sort of demonic seagull. And his teeth, while not only as sharp as something really sharp, they’re remarkable white given his diet, which leads me to believe the Creeper not only brushes after every meal, but flosses as well. Hey, be true to your teeth or they will be false to YOU.

Jeepers CreepersNot a fan of sequels, but Jeepers Creepers 3: Cathedral sounds yummy.

2 Responses to “Jeepers Creepers, It’s The Creeper!”

  1. (Pulls spear from head) Looks dead to me.

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