Ghosts With No Chance

Ghosts“There’s something in this house…”

True. But it may not be a ghost, but rather a copy machine. The Asylum, the film studio responsible for ripping off dozens of other studio’s intellectual property (i.e., Paranormal Entity, Transmorphers, Almighty Thor, Battle of Los Angeles, ad infinitum), has taken to ripping off itself with A Haunting in Salem, due October 4, 2011, which mimics their very own Haunting of Winchester House (which sucked, 2009). I bet they even use the same ghost. Why not? The poster art is practically rubber stamped, and the title lifts directly from A Haunting in Connecticut (2009).

Here are the plot lines of both. Discussion to follow…

A Haunting in Salem: “When the new sheriff of Salem, Massachusetts discovers that he is the victim of a Centuries-old curse, he must protect his family from the vengeful ghosts that torment his home.”

Haunting of Winchester House: “A family moves in to look after the Winchester mansion for a few months, and soon find themselves terrorized by vengeful spirits. With the help of a paranormal investigator they’ll unravel the mystery of the house.”

GhostSplitting hairs? Maybe. But Asylum, shameless in their quest to do their spin on any genre movie that looks like it could make them a quick buck, don’t seem to have any problem picking its own nose and eating whatever sticks to the finger, which has been in other people’s orifices for some time now.

CopsTo be fair – and I’d rather not – I cite the case of Beverly Hills Cop (1984) and the porn knock-off, Beverly Hills Copulator (1986) as precedent. (Beverly Hills Copulator was actually a gripping detective movie, with lubricated plot twists, street cred dialogue and boobies.)

The lesson learned today is to watch porn and not movies made by The Asylum.

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