Dino Wolf. You Heard Me.

Dino WolfEver wondered what would happen if a dinosaur knocked up your dog? You’d need a way bigger leash for one thing. You’d probably need a bigger pooper scooper, too. So what would you call this new household hybrid? Dino Wolf, of course! And you could even make a movie about him and… Dang, it’s already been done. Dino Wolf, a love story about a prehistoric werewolf who rips your chest open to get the toy surprise inside, comes out on DVD October, 18, 2011.

Dino Wolf isn’t related to Dinoshark, but is yet another cheeseball attempt at mashing up opposing species for fast turnaround profits and bling. I’m not immune to getting rich quick, so I create my own prehistoric monster: Frogasaurus. It’s about a Jurassic period tree frog who survived the Ice Age by taking refuge in an abandoned, yet still functioning nuclear power plant. Feeding on discarded isotopes for a few million years, Frogasaurus grows to the size of a store or something and goes on a hip hop rampage when he can’t find enough houseflies to eat. OK, so I haven’t quite worked out the bugs, but you get the idea.

Dino WolfAs for Dino Wolf (formerly known as Dire Wolf, which was just retarded), occurs when human DNA is mixed with scrapings from the prehistoric Dire Wolf skeleton. The results? A werewolf hybrid that looks like a he’s better rubber suited singing for a heavy metal band than ripping people’s chests open.

I could buy in to both. Hey, I’m easily amused.

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