Hotel Werewolf

hallow PointeKinda sucks when you and your girlfriend go out in the woods to spice up your love life using pinecones, sticker bushes and stink beetles as marital aides, only to be interrupted by a werewolf. I can’t tell you how many times that’s happened to my neighbor. (And by interrupting werewolf, I mean me.)

Hallow Pointe, an incoming 2011 horror movie about love and lycanthropy, promises liberal doses of both. I could do without the romance crap, but if they throw in a few more stink beetles, I’d be open to being more open-minded.

Staying at a bed and breakfast (like a hotel, except no pool or lobby bar), Henry and Jane, bored with rubbing each other’s ankles, think that Madeline’s Closet, located way out in the woods loaded with free-range stink beetles, might be just the snuggle-inducing weekend getaway needed to put the wow back in their trou’. But when the sun goes down like Jane used to do to Henry, they’re in for a fuzzy hell ride when a werewolf shows up to check-in. Now Henry and Jane have to team up with the other guests to keep the beast from eating all their faces off and farting in the general direction of the moon.

Hallow PointeCool, but there’s too many unanswered questions. Does the bed and breakfast offer any kind of refund in the event of a werewolf attack? Does a werewolf lurking in the woods nearby affect the hotel’s AAA diamond rating? Is a marauding werewolf considered an amenity? Do stays during a full moon carry a premium? Do you leave a tip when you check out, or just the tip of a body part? Are there group rates for face-eating?

I tried getting answers from Expedia.com’s™ customer help line and they kept hanging up. Butt-holes. I’ll try Travelocity™ and get back to you.

Hallow Pointe

One Response to “Hotel Werewolf”

  1. Bwahahahahaa…. ha ha haha… *pant pant* HA HA HA! This post had me in absolute stitches! As usual, keep up the good work and biting wordplay!

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