The Reef: All You Can Eat

The Reef

It’s no coincidence that movies about reefs always feature sharks or other indigenous underwater dwellers who eat people in them. Not only is this the order of life beneath the sea, it’s friggin’ entertaining from a “I’m glad it’s you and not me” point of view.

In their 1969 hippy drug song “Octopus Garden,” The Beatles sang that “I’d like to be under the sea, in an octopus’ garden in the shade.” Catchy song, but in their psychedelic chord progressions they had no idea what face-ripping terror awaits anyone who listened to the track and thought it’d be groovy to check out this dreamy octopus garden. In fact, the Beatles probably led a lot of unwitting sea hippies to their deaths because of it. (They should hand out that song for free to anyone wearing a Grateful Dead T-shirt.)

In honor of the July 10, 2011 DVD release of The Reef, a graphic shark attack horror movie that dispels any fantasy of living in octopus shade, here’s a sampler platter of reef + shark = death movies to wet (heh) your appetite…

The ReefTHE REEF (2011)
After their pleasure boat capsizes out in the middle of “where the f*k are we,” four entrees attempt to swim to a small island. A great white shark wearing a dinner bib for a bathing suit trailing them thinks that’s a really good idea.

THE REEF (2006)
A young fish moves back in with his parents, meets a chick fish and has spawning on his mind. Before he can snorkel in her sea grotto, a huge shark comes along and bites her in half, turning blue water into a cocktail of crimson and pain. Her death scream could be heard in the bubbles popping on the surface.

Their boat shipwrecked like so many Gilligans before them, two brothers must endure life on an island occupied by nubile young women. Unable to comprehend his staggering luck, one brother commits suicide.

A young island boy can’t afford a surfboard, so he rides on the backs of great white sharks. If you hang ten, expect to come back with five. One day he and the shark get in a really bad argument.

A father and son sponge diving team suffer tragedy when a great white sponge attacks the men, leaving one mortally wounded and the other sparkling clean.

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