Zombie Drugs

Drugs will rot you from the inside out, which is why I chose the alcoholic lifestyle. It’s refreshing, easy to score and makes you way glamorous. But don’t drink if you’re under 21 because it’s illegal and alcohol will f*ck you up hardcore.

Zombie Drugs, an upcoming horror comedy, is about Vinny and Sebastion, two high school burnouts, searching for the perfect high while fending off the mob, frat boys and zombies. This would never happen if those guys drank sweet alcohol instead of injesting drugs. Disclaimer: I have seen zombie drunks – not pretty.

The trailer for Zombie Drugs looks pretty funny even if you can’t relate to a pharmaceutical lifestyle. There’s a couple of hot chicks in it, one being a Goth. (Since she’s highly attractive, I’ll lower my standards just this once.) I don’t know if the drugs cause you to become a zombie, or if you already are one and are looking to score. No word on whether or not brains are eaten.

FYI: There’s a website called Zombies on Drugs, but I was denied entry into this little club as they ask you to sign up ’n stuff. If I’m ever to realize my dream of becoming a heavy metal astronaut, being a member of Zombies on Drugs won’t look too good on my NASA application.

There’s also Scopolamine, highly illegal street crud that is referred to as the Zombie Drug, because it makes the users appear completely sober and rational, but they’re just mindless drones. (Who needs drugs? I can do that all on my own.) The downside is the drug can cause death. And not a movie death, either. Sorry to report, but you won’t be coming back to life and eating the brains of the living.

Stay away from drugs, crack a rack of brew and watch Zombie Drugs when it comes out and let the repercussions of bad choices happen to someone else for a change.