Malaysian Ghosts For Rent

Flat 3AFlat 3A. Sounds like a bra size. And yet, it has nothing to do with diminutive boobage and everything to do with paranormal activities.

In other countries an apartment is referred to as a flat. Flat 3A probably refers to the mailing address of the titular haunted apartment. A young couple who have unprotected sex have just moved into a new flat (that sounded weird), only to discover the darn place is spook-fortified. This causes a lot of staining of the carpets and such. Bye-bye damage deposit.

A FlatFlat 3A is a Malaysian horror movie and premieres July, 2011. But if you live in India, you saw a similar movie in November of 2010. In A Flat (gripping title – that’ll put butts in movie seats), some guy travels all the way from the apartment-filled U.S. to make up/make out with his girlfriend. He stays in a flat inhabited by a ghost that won’t let him leave to go get groceries or toilet paper. I’d have to look at the lease agreement, but I’m pretty sure double occupancy is not allowed.

The trailer for Flat 3A is pretty bloody and there’s a bathtub abortion scene that you may want to watch after you finish eating a meatloaf soaking in tomato sauce. The trailer for A Flat is boring and doesn’t show the ghost floating around or making doors open and shut by themselves.

I’m more gooned out, however, over the term flat as a reference to an affordable living space. Flat should only be used to describe pancakes, tone-deaf singers, TV screens and car tires, not female chests or apartments. I’m sorry, but that’s just the way I was brought up.

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