Killer Clowns From Inner Space

The Last CircusI’ve always wondered what made grown men want to be circus clowns. Granted, that happens in every bar right around closing time. But to actually paint your face, snap on a rubber nose and wear hippie-colored pajamas in public, makes you wonder what kind of drugs they’re snorting and where one might possibly get some.

The Last Circus, a new Spanish horror movie, features two such man-clowns. Set in 1937 during the bloody Spanish civil war, one clown is “forcibly recruited” to join the militia. So impatient were they to kill their own countrymen, they didn’t even wait to get him some proper army clothes, and had him march into war with a machete and his circus costume and make-up. The clown ends up being quite good at this war thing and single-handedly slaughters an entire platoon. Hey, if you’re gonna go on a killing spree, you might as well have fun.

The Last CircusThirty-seven years later, Javier, the son of Happy, the Murdering Clown, picks up his old man’s honky horn and looks to carry on the family tradition. But he’s not happy enough to be a clown, so he has to be a Sad Clown. And Sergio, that big bully Happy Clown, humiliates Javier every freakin’ day. I need to interject here – clowns should stick together, man. For one clown to bully another is just plain wrong.

The Last CircusAnd there can’t be real horror drama unless you introduce a chick to the story. Enter the high-flying acrobatress Natalia, who loves Sad Clown, but is currently using her bed as a trampoline with the Mean Clown, with whom she happens to be married. I smell circus trouble. There’s always room for jealous.

The movie’s website describes this War of the Clowns as being “a ferocious battle between Sad Clown and Happy Clown, escalating to unbelievable heights in this absurd, shocking, irreverent and unforgettable film.”

The Last Circus will no doubt scar me forever and make me not ever want to go to a circus again. I will, however, attend nightly clown performances at any bar around closing time.

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