House of Purgatory

 

House of PurgatoryYet another fun thing to do while drunk is go on Facebook™ and type in random search words, like “Butt-Face,” “Mr. Booger,” “Alien Licker” and “My Ex Is Doing It With Everyone I Ever Met In My Entire Life.” Sooner or later you’ll get some pretty funny results. One such word I typed in was “Hell” because everyone’s been there and I figured they had a lot of friends/likes. That led me to House of Purgatory, an indie horror film due out in fall of 2011. And since Facebook™ is a kind of a house of purgatory anyway, I figured what the hell.

House of PurgatoryHouse of Purgatory is a spooky horror movie with supernatural underpinnings that has four teenagers entering a haunted house to win a cash prize. After taxes, excise fees and transit surcharges, the prize weighs in at $37.00. Enough for a rack of Pabst Blue Ribbon™ and a pack of Slim Jims™ with enough left over for the penny tray. So hell yeah, I’ll go in the haunted house. And I’ll win, too.

But like all cool things for free, there’s a catch: the prize is on the top floor of the haunted house. There are seven floors. Nobody has ever made it to the top.

House of PurgatoryDumbasses. With the lure of enough cash to secure a fridge full of the good stuff, these idiots aren’t thinking linear. While they’ll all probably head for the stairs, I’d Spider-Man it up the outside of the H-house, crawl through an unlocked window as I’m certain no haunted house every locks anything, grab the loot and boot scoot to the nearest 7-Eleven ™ while everyone else dies a horrible screaming death.

Good. I wasn’t gonna share, anyway.

2 Responses to “House of Purgatory”

  1. and thats why they’ll never have you in any of these movies dude. they need the linear thinking dumb asses so they’ll never make it to the $37 bucks and then they can keep their beer money

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