Ghosts Aplenty

The UnleashedThe first time I saw a ghost I said, “What up, dude?” The ghost didn’t answer back. Trying to be friendly, I said, “So, like, where’d they bury your body?” Total silence. You should’ve seen the look on his face, though, when I asked to borrow some bus change. You would’ve thought I killed him and stuffed his body in an oil drum down by the river. Ghosts are total dicks.

The only reason I bring up a**hole ghosts is that there are two new poltergeist movies coming out, one called The Unleashed and the other Italian Ghost Stories, which is actually five ghost stories in one. So if one sucks, the odds are good that something out of the next four will rock the house.

Italian Ghost StoriesIn The Unleashed, some hot chick and her friends use a Ouija board to make a collect call to the dead. A ghost accepts the charges, comes out and possesses someone. Then special effects occur.

In Italian Ghost Stories, five different directors spin five different spooky tales. Don’t know the plots of each story, but I’m guessing ghosts are somehow involved. I don’t know when it comes out because I can only speak a couple things in Italian, one being “I’m così potabile” (I’m SO drunk).

At any rate, I hope the ghosts in these movies are nicer than the ones I run into. Those tools need a lesson in civility.

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