Werewolves On Wheels

Werewolves on WheelsEvery home should have a werewolf, if not as a cursed family member, but perhaps as a pet out in the back yard. But if you don’t have/want either, you can settle for a severely cool limited edition print of the 1971 schlock horror film, Werewolves on Wheels, starring nobody you’d care to know.

Designed by Phantom City Creative and sold by the always groovy MondoTees, each 24”x36” screenprint is limited to 235, and will set you back $40 clams. The color scheme doesn’t match your eyes? Then you can get a blue variant with an even smaller edition of 65 for $60 fun coupons.

Werewolves on Wheels

As for Werewolves on Wheels, the title is better than the movie itself. Pity. The Devils Advocates are a motorcycle gang with unkempt hair, dirty clothes and a noticeable disregard for the law. While driving around the southwest looking for something to spit on, they encounter a cult of satanic monks.

During an overly long ceremony in which the bikers are given a loaf of bread and a nice vintage blood wine to wash it down, something happens: the bikers pass out! (I guess all that beer they’re constantly seen sipping is just for posing purposes.) While they were sleeping off their wine buzz, the monks turn the head biker’s ’ol lady into a naked go-go dancer, then a werewolf. (This doesn’t happen right away because it takes a while to grow that much hair.) As nature takes its course, soon the lead biker is infected with werewolf germs, and every night after the gang falls asleep in the dirt, another member is killed and/or murdered.

Werewolves on WheelsThis all comes to a boil when the gang actually sees them fur up right before their lawless eyeballs. So the title Werewolves on Wheels is kind of a misnomer as just two are werewolves. Even so, only one of them has motorcycle-driving experience. Regardless, they must be killed/murdered. Those remaining go back to the church for revenge (and more of that delicious bread), only to find themselves in robes doing the satanic cult dealie. Yeah, I’m not sure how works, either. Maybe they were dead the whole time and that’s just their souls finally wearing clean clothes.

All I know is I was promised werewolves on wheels and didn’t get any. Life sucks.

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