Corporate Vampire

Corporate VampireWith the possible exception of the Invisible Man, vampires have always been the most fashion conscious of all creatures of the night. Where Frankenstein’s Monster dresses like a gas station attendant and Wolf Man prefers to go commando, it’s your everyday vampire who remains the most stylish, what with clean pressed suits, satin-lined capes and anti-flea bite wrap-around collars that scream “invite me to your next box social.”

But Dracula dons a different white collar in the upcoming Corporate Vampire, going to work in a smart Tommy Hilfiger black plaid suit augmented with a Cotswold red silk tie, a Joseph Abboud white dress shirt, and Florsheim black shoes. And before you scream fashion foul, Drac also comes accessorized with a black leather belt made from the skin of the living.

Other than that, I don’t know anything about Corporate Vampire other than it seems like an appropriate metaphor for greed-glutted Wall Street a**holes who have been sucking the working class dry as a happy hour beer. Here’s my take: Dracula gets a job at Goldman Sachs and has an uncanny sense of where the Stock Market is headed. As the moon rises, so does his portfolio. But Dracula would rather drain your neck as well as your bank account, and uses his wavy mind control beams to get your PIN number right before he makes a huge withdrawal from your blood bank.

Or the movie could be about something else entirely.

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