Frost Bite: Dawn of the Snow Zombies

Frost BiteFrost Bite is a great name for a zombie movie filmed in the snow, because the cold temperatures can give your dangling extremities the painful condition known as frostbite, as well as the snow zombies, who put the gore in Gortex™, can bite you, which is also painful. I don’t know why, but I love the dual meaning. Because of that, I proclaim Frost Bite to be excellent, even though I haven’t seen it.

Frost BiteFrost Bite was filmed in Alaska where there’s plenty of stunt frost. Once again zombies have taken over the world. A small group of survivors take refuge in a grocery store (smart – there’s beer and heavily-salted snack treats in there) and do battle against not only the frozen undead, but a gaggle of other survivors whose leader is a religious freak. This means trouble, much unhappiness and laws not being obeyed. (Where are the zombie cops when you need ’em?)

Though similar in name only, there are two other movies called Frost Bite

Billy has been accepted into the Pine Mountain Snowboarding Academy. But since he’s total hard-core and parties all night with chicks in hot tubs and wakes up in garbage cans, he somehow a moment of clarity and realizes he needs to pull it together or else he won’t have a rewarding career as a snow slacker. Frost Bite also stars porn legend Traci Lords, who possibly gets rad with one or more of the snow boarders.

In a small town in Northern Sweden during the middle of winter when you have 30 days of night, vampires attack the living because there’s no daylight for a month, and since vampires are not allowed to go out in the light of day lest they go up like a piece of bacon in a microwave… If this sounds familiar (not the bacon part), it’s because it’s the same outline as 30 Days of Night (2007) where vampires descend on a small Alaska town and suck it silly.

Frost BiteI can’t wait for Frost Bite the zombie movie as I don’t like being in the snow, and this will allow me the experience without suffering from frostbite or zombie bites, neither of which are particularly good for your dangling extremities.

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