Israel Has Rabies (The Movie, Not The Germs)

RabiesThe headlines are pretty darn funny:Rabies, the first Israeli horror movie, has reviewers foaming at the mouth!” The humorous part is rabies makes your mouth car wash foam like you overloaded your toothbrush and went to town.

But not everyone is foaming at the mouth. A terse review of Rabies on The Rayve: Tel Aviv With A Twist website has this to say about that:

“Rabies is a poorly made horror movie with a really loose plot that strayed from some essential horror movie conventions in an attempt to try and make the movie somehow ‘Israeli.’ For example, four of the main characters are clean, pretty kids dressed in clean tennis outfits on their way to play a game at some country club. It has to be noted that there simply are no Israelis that dress in clean, preppy tennis gear like that and/or play tennis at exclusive country clubs. At the end of the film, the final line specifically insinuates that the stock horror movie doesn’t work in Israel simply because the entire country is full of a**holes who are ready to kill one another at the drop of a hat.”


Still, it’s heart-warming to see other countries expanding their corporate branding to fast cash enterprises as horror movies. Canada did back in 1977 with a similarly titled Rabid, directed by David Cronenberg), starring Marilyn Chambers, an international porn star, going mainstream for the first time (no depictions of butt spelunking), and vampire zombies.

RabidThe story revolves around sexually-liberated chick and her boyfriend (with whom she no doubt lets rub her in the shower), who get in a gnarly motorcycle accident. Using experimental surgery to get her back to feeling up status, the doctor hooks her up with morphogenetically neutral skin, which is kinda like Silly Putty™ for humans, wherein the new material replicates itself to replace worn out/damaged/felt up tissue.

And because experimental science rocks, the whole thing backfires and mutates her armpit into a protruding stinger, which she uses to extract blood food from unwilling donors. Once stung, you’re infected and go around doing the same to others. Next stop, Epidemic City.

What makes this movie so cool is that Marilyn, usually on the other side of the stinger, shows her boobs. Oh, yeah – the plot and vampire zombies are cool, too. Now if Israel could tap into some ’o that R-rated armpit horror action, they may not feel the need to kill each other at the drop of a hat.

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