Little Deaths: Size Doesn’t Matter

Little DeathsThere’s a fine line between shocking sexual deviancy and romance. Whose to say that introducing a turkey baster to a consenting orifice isn’t the same as holding hands in the park? Whichever end of the utensil you sit on, you have to admit love would be pretty boring without the occasional stroll down Pervert Blvd.

La petite mort,” French for “the little death”, is a metaphor for orgasm. “Super Fun Happy Slide” is my metaphor. Little Deaths, a new psycho sex-based horror movie, deals with the aforementioned metaphors in ways not meant for the weak of stomach or will power. A three-vignette story, each is a cautionary tale about having the right key, but the wrong key hole…

Little Deaths

A young Christian couple whose sex life is gridlocked by their faith, get bored enough with both to invite a hot homeless woman into their house for some food and a slow, steamy bath with lots of bubbles. The couple soon lets their freak flag fly. So does their house guest. Guess how this ends. No really, guess.

This one should’ve been sponsored by Home Depot™. There’s an imprisoned guy who has a wiener so big, it qualifies as offshore drilling. His “mutant tool” is being harvested(!) to make a powerful drug. A recovering drug addict/prostitute/model/actress takes the drug. You’ll want to cover your eyes – and groin – when you see what happens next.

Some guys like being dominated and humiliated by women. We call this “marriage.” A guy, whose girlfriend has him on all fours and playing receiver with a strap-on turkey baster, thought his relationship had all the trimmings…until she starts making gobble gobble noises at a mutual friend. Knowing her abnormal fear of canines, he lets the dogs out on her. Don’t make me say it.

Little DeathsYou’ll probably want to brush your teeth after knowing this about Little Deaths. Just be careful where you put the toothbrush afterward – someone might take it as an invitation to love.

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