Zombie Defense Poster

Zombie DefenseA great zombie defense poster or “infographic” designed by Mitchell Hatch at BeHance. Looks like Mitch did his undead homework as all the zombie defense methods are proven fact as opposed to tree-hugging theories.

I’d like to submit a few of my own zombie repellent techniques, honed and refined over years of battling the living dead…

PEANUT BUTTER: Smear a jar of Skippy’s Extra-CrunchyPeanut Butter on a zombie, then sit back and watch bears, rats and grade-schoolers tear ’em apart.

WATER BALLOONS: Fill ’em with pee instead of water, then throw them – carefully – at zombies. For even greater results, eat a bunch of asparagus and wash it down with Mickey’ Big Mouth™ beer and wait until you have enough in your bladder for at least a half-dozen balloons. How you get the pee into the balloons is strictly dealer’s choice.

SHREDDED WHEAT: Cover yourself in Shredded Wheat™ cereal and then stand next to empty cartons of milk. No one living or dead on the planet will eat dry Shredded Wheat without milk. Not even birds.

TANK: Get in one and run over zombies. Pretty darn effective.

SHAVING CREAM: While zombies are sleeping, spray some shaving cream in their hands and then tickle their nose. Then try to keep from LOL-ing when the zombies goes to scratch their nose in their sleep and gets a face full of Gillette Shaving Cream™ (with aloe for sensitive skin). Not really a deterrent – more for fun than anything.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: