Rubber – You Will Get Tire’d

RubberIf the idea of a car tire coming to life and acquiring telepathic powers is right up there with a demonically possessed blender or an undead sewing machine being resurrected by a double-stitch virus, then Rubber, an independent horror movie about a car tire coming to life and killing stuff, should be right up your address.

Outside of blowing out while you’re driving 117 m.p.h. in a school zone, not sure how many ways a car tire can kill you. I supposed if you ate a car tire sandwich and the valve got stuck in your throat, that might count. Or if you were dangling over Crocodile River on a tire swing and the line snapped. Or if Superman threw a car tire at you really hard and hit you in the face. Not seeing much more threat here.

RubberNevertheless, Rubber, which hit theaters April 1st, 2011 (it’s been on VOD since now), is about a car tire named(!) Robert, who, while rolling through the desert, suddenly discovers he/it has telepathic powers and can explode stuff with his mind/treads. Every Sunday I go to church and ask Jesus to grant me that exact same ability. I’ve been really good, so any day now.

This tire – which may or may not be high performance – is a killer, and does what any other psychopathic steel-belted radial would do, and that’s to run people over. So yeah, not intended to be a serious movie, though the scene where Rubber Robert is forlornly looking at old wheels being chucked into a tire fire is both funny and heart-achingly sad.

Rubber

Rubber is a good title, though they should’ve called it Wheel of Misfortune. That, or It Was A Goodyear™ For Killing. I can think this stuff up all day long. And this is why Jesus likes me.

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