Mutant Rats. I Like ’Em Already.

Rat Scratch FeverI thought rats came from the toilet and/or sewer, but the rodents in Rat Scratch Fever, a new vermin-infested independent horror movie, come from outer space. Space is like a sewer, I suppose. Though I’ve never been, I imagine outer space to be filled with all of the stuff that comes out of Uranus. It’s OK, you can laugh.

Sonja is a supermodel astronaut who rolls to a distant planet, looking for new shopping opportunities. Once there, space rats attack her sumptuous lunar orbs as well as her team. Because this is a movie, the rats, with LED red light eyes and whiskers of death, make it back to Earth and end up in Los Angeles. Better L.A. than San Francisco, who is up to here with mega sharks and giant octopuses.

Rat Scratch FeverFinding a nutritious food source in humans, the rats burrow into bodies and eat their way out. (I bet the space rats could beat Willard and his gang in a hot dog eating contest.) Happily, the rats grow to the size of ice chests and are able to chew through walls as well as torsos.

Rat Scratch FeverSlip-n-slide guts, gore, well-enunciated screaming, and the glowing of rat eyes. I’m not seeing a downside to any of this. The movie’s tag line is From Deep Space, An Army of Man-Eating Terror.” It should be Nice Gnawing You,” or, if the movie was based in San Francisco, They’ll Take You Out For Drinks…Then Eat Uranus.”

Lined up around the block, I tell you.

2 Responses to “Mutant Rats. I Like ’Em Already.”

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