Snow Shark: He’ll Melt In Your Harms
A shark that swims in snow and bites you in the ice hole? And don’t think your snow balls are safe, either. Is there no place on earth safe from these highly adaptable predators? What’s next – Lava Sharks that shoot out of volcanoes? Lightning Sharks born of storm clouds and inverted weather patterns? Clearly, there’s no stopping these elemental death dealers.
Following in the hallowed finsteps of Swamp Shark and Psycho Shark, Snow Shark – scourge of all things slush and sub-zero temperatures – is a cross between Jaws (1975) and The Thing (1983), revealing itself after a team of animal biologists stumble upon this frozen discovery. According to the legend, seven years later, several locals disappear. Curse you, Snow Shark. In the present, a new team of cryptozoologists seeks the truth behind the legend of the “Ancient Snow Beast.”
Currently in production, you can help bring Snow Shark to the surface by donating to the filming/feeding costs at Indiegogo.com, where the filmmakers are asking for a reachable goal of $3,000. That’s chum-p change, and anyone with a few fins in their wallet might want to pledge.
Of course, Snow Shark is nothing new in the world of crystallized Carcharodon carcharia. Intensive research on the Internet reveals Snow Shark attacks are happening all over the world, except Hawaii, the Equator, The Gobi Desert, Ethiopia and Death Valley, California. Uncertain as to why. Then again, what science knows about Snow Sharks can be put in an ice tray.
Shown in the rare photographs of painfully graphic snow shark attacks, these cold-blooded creatures show little if any remorse when landing their prey. We can only hope the feared sharks choke to death on snow shoes, gloves and knit hats, thereby sparing the lives of anyone unfortunate enough to fall into these snapping jawscicles.