Zombies: The Cream of the Crop

28 Days LaterProclaiming which movie about zombies is at best a daunting task, given that there’s one billion of  ’em in existence (zombies and zombie movies). And it’s even more of a bitch to pick the Top 14, because no matter what, you’re gonna piss off the hardcores who will no doubt wish a viral plague upon you for leaving their favorite(s) out.

Even with this kind of impending threat, the fine folks at popcrunch.com have posted their Top 14 Best Zombie Flicks of all time. A few glaring errors: No Frankenstein (1931). Was not Frankenstein’s monster one of the first – and best – zombies ever made? And no Frankenhooker (1990)? I thought this was America?

Regardless, let the infection spread…

#1: 28 Days Later/2002
Good (and prudent) choice, although the so-called zombies aren’t technically zombies at all. Real zombies become so after dying first. These guys didn’t die, they just got that Rage juice in their eye and turned into 400 yard-dash Rage-a-holics.

#2: Dawn of the Dead/1978
The benchmark for modern zombies. Hard to top this one as it had so many Hallmark moments, a favorite being the helicopter blade haircut to one unfortunate undead. He was probably a hippie in real life and need a trim in the first place. Gives new meaning to “a little off the top.”

#3: Shaun of the Dead/2004
A wickedly hilarious metaphor for the mind-numbing rat race. Who knew eating flesh could be so darn fun?

#4: Cemetery Man/1994
A cemetery owner/operator has a tough job: burying the dead…and keeping them from getting back out of their graves. The worse part –he makes minimum wage.

#5: Planet Terror/2007
You’d think that you’ve seen it all when it comes to zombie movies. Watch this one and then we’ll talk. Pure genius – and that’s just the girl with a machine gun leg.

#6: Re-Animator/1985
This should be a lot closer to the top of the list as its one of the more over-the-top “bring the dead back to life” movies you’ll ever see. (I.e., the talking head attempting to pleasure a restrained naked girl in the only biological method left to him.)

#7: Versus/2000
An obscure but cool Japanese martial arts zombie flick. The kicker: everybody dies!

#8: Dead Alive/1992
A living dead movie that boasts more flinging blood than an exploding blood bank. Zombie babies, kung fu priests, a Sumatran rat-monkey… And then there’s the lawn mower scene, which should have won an Academy Award for best supporting actor.

#9: Dead Snow/2009
Nazis, buried in the snow since WWII, thaw out and face off (literally) with college students on a ski vacation. The only time Nazis are cool.

#10: Zombieland/2009
The first 10 minutes of this big-budget zom-comedy are better than the thousands of zombie movies that came before it. Proven fact.

#11: Army of Darkness/1992
I would’ve put this and the other two Evil Dead movies in the Top 5. Even my mom likes ’em. And she doesn’t care for anything evil or dead.

#12: Resident Evil/2002
A video game-turned-movie, this violent stunner re-writes the rules of being undead by making zombies out of workers for a corporation. Why does that sound familiar?

#13: Night of the Living Dead/1968
Number 13? Really? The zombie movie with exquisitely graphic flesh-eating scenes that started it all that far down on the list? There’s an unemployment line waiting for whoever decided this.

#14: Zombi 2/1979
Famous for two scenes: a woman slowly getting her eye impaled by splintered wood as a zombie grabs and pulls her through a busted door. That’s surprisingly hard to watch, even with two eyes. Then there’s the scene wear a zombie fights a real tiger shark underwater…and bites it! They missed a real opportunity here by not having an undead shark swimming around, waiting for scuba brains.

These are popcrunch.com’s picks. What are yours?

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