Eight More Horror Films To Die For

After Dark OriginalsJanuary is Christmas v.2 for horror movie freaks, except instead of gifts, calorie-saturated holiday food and sappy songs about being nice to each other, we get splattered intestinal haggis, souls shoved into meat grinders, ghosts, zombies, aliens and possessed scarecrows. Really, it makes one so giddy with the post holiday spirit, you just wanna re-gift all over yourself.

After Dark, the understanding company behind the 8 Films To Die For series, is bringing a fresh crop of horror to select theaters on January 28th, 2011. I went to all eight last year and consumed nine movie theater hot dogs (one was for dessert), a 1973 Chevy Nova trunk load of popcorn, a keg of diet coke (gotta watch that belt line), enough red vines to make a rope bridge, and 4,000 peanut M&Ms™. So yeah, I blame After Dark for my corroding cholesterol levels, which could actually be the subject of one of their movies.

After Dark OriginalsLast year’s series, though at times a bit uneven, had some stand-out entries, from the butt-puckering ghost story Lake Mungo, to the biting (sorry) social commentary of Zombies of Mass Destruction. Even the standard “chase two hot girls around the desert” story (The Graves), a WTF foreign flick (Hidden) and teens kill each other (Kill Theory, The Final) were better than most crap released in 2010. And 2011’s roster looks to lather, rinse and repeat all of the above. Here’s what they have ready for your/my hot dog starved brains…

After Dark OriginalsHUSK
Homicidal scarecrows made living from the spirits of the slumbering dead. There will be blood, evil, and plenty of corn.

SECONDS APART
Young twin boys gifted with telekinesis, the power to know what bad thing each other is doing so the other can go tell mom.

RE-KILL
Post apocalyptic zombies at war with whatever future humans are left un-snacked upon. A better title might be Republicans Vs. Democrats.

After Dark OriginalsPROWL
Inhuman beasts looking to taste test a young female hitchhiker and a trucker who gives her a ride, thinking that he’d really like to take her out to dinner.

SCREAM OF THE BANSHEE
A screaming banshee lives in a box, kinda like Jack, but not nearly as hilarious. Someone opens the box. Well, duh.

FERTILE GROUND
City folk move to the country with aspirations of becoming rural hippies. Ancient evil is their neighbor. So, like, if you need to borrow a cup of evil, they got you covered.

After Dark OriginalsTHE TASK
An abandoned prison full of ghosts, a reality game show being filmed in the prison, cash prizes. The losers get their soul eaten and crapped out on someone’s lawn.

51
In reference to Area 51, the Nevada air force base where aliens are held against their will. The title also refers to how many other movies were made with this exact same plot.

See you at the movies. Just don’t sit in front of me. I mean it.

 

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