A Zombie Christmas

Zombie ChristmasGlistening zombie intestines instead of tacky Wal-Mart™ garland. Cadaver stomach lining used in place of over-priced gift wrap. Plucked eyeballs substituting for bitter (albeit colorful) cranberries. Severed nuts roasting on an open fire. Undead vomit gunk picking up where holiday egg nog left off. No, this isn’t my Christmas wish list (although it kinda is), but rather a zombie holiday fever dream all can enjoy.

Happened across a website called Zombie Christmas that’s loaded with a near endless supply of seasonal zombie stuff. It’s almost as if Jesus himself died and came back to life and showered hordes of his zombie followers with fetid festiveness and gut glee.

Of all the cool undead items, it’s the downloadable Zombie Nativity paper craft set that’s the neatest thing since virus infected fruitcake. The Nativity scene has zombie Wise Men, zombie barnyard animals, and a regular baby Jesus, so as to not get Christians all gooned out. (Note to churchy hardcores – lighten up already.) Simply click HERE and download the PDF, cut out the figures with a machete and celebrate Christmas in the spirit in which it was intended.

Zombie Christmas

While you’re on the site, click around like you’ve been sucking on candy cane flavored crack, as you’ll find links to things like a Zombie Apocalypse Gingerbread House (by Nicholas Daley), Zombie Christmas Haikus (by Ryan Mecum), Left 4 Dead Holiday Cards (by Alexandria Neonakis), and the always-needed Zombie Santa Claus Ornaments and Zombie Snowflake Patterns, courtesy of zombie book author, Ben Tripp, the guy behind the stinkingly popular Rise Again: A Zombie Thriller paper back released in October of 2010. (384 pages, $10 on Amazon.com, killer deal, click HERE)

Zombie ChristmasIt’s the closest thing you’ll get to being a zombie this Christmas. Don’t worry – there’s always next year. (“Dear Santa – please bring me a zombie virus and/or plague as I’ve been really, really good all year…”)

P.S. Borrowed Zombie Santa at the top done by the dazzling skills of Randy Green. Check out his too cool Zombie S. Hunter blog HERE.

 

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