Goin’ Ape For The Monkey King

The Monkey KingThe Monkey King is a special effects driven, fantasy sci-fi 3-D movie that’s slated for February of 2012. I thought the world is supposed to end in that year. The place mat in the Mayan restaurant down the street says so. Regardless, anyone who looks like someone from Planet of the Apes, wears a cool cape and flies through the air like a super monkey while swinging around an ornate stick that looks like a heavy metal pole vault pole, automatically gets my movie dollar(s). Other than what the poster tells us/me, I have no freakin’ clue as to what this film is about. I don’t care – he’s a flying monkey, dude!

The Monkey KingPlaying the title character is Donnie Yen, who also starred in the ass kicking, Ip Man (2008, pronounced “Eep Mon”) and the kung fu sac punch classic, Iron Monkey (1993). Amazingly, Yen’s appeared in over 60 movies, including Holy Virgin vs. Evil Dead (1991). You may not want your mom to see that one. Trust me.

If the character sounds familiar, Jet Li donned the fur as The Monkey King in The Forbidden Kingdom (2008). I guess they needed someone to put a new spin on being a martial arts primate.

The Monkey KingThe Monkey King, though, has been around for a long time, and not recently dreamed up by someone loaded on Percoset and Nyquil-marinated BBQ pork (served with hot mustard). Here’s an excerpt from Journey to West, written by Wu Ch’eng-en in the 1500s (one of my favorite reads whilst on the porcelain throne): “The Monkey King is an indeed rebellious extraordinary being, born out of a rock and fertilized by the grace of Heaven. Monkey King is extremely smart and is able to transform himself into 72 different images, such as a tree, a bird, a beast of prey, or a bug as small as a mosquito, so as to sneak into an enemy’s belly to fight him inside or out. Using clouds as a vehicle, he can travel 180,000 miles in a single somersault.”

Man, that is so cool. MK also has a huge iron bar that serves as ballast of the seas and can expand or shrink at its owner’s command. Needless to say, Monkey King’s fav weapon. I’m still jazzed over him being able to drive around in a cloud and do somersaults. That’d be awesome if I had a cloud car or could do somersaults at 180,000 m.p.h. without throwing up.

As cool as that all is, I think we all know who the REAL Monkey King is…

Dr. Zaius

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