A Jewish Serial Killer – What’s Not To Like?

HanukkahWhile I’m not Jewish (more like half demigod, half alcoholic), the upcoming Jewish horror movie Hanukkah looks pretty komish. (That’s Yiddish for humorous – I’m thinking about converting.) While it’s sure to be loaded with Jewish-isms, the teaser posters are hilarious. Spoofing Halloween and Friday the 13th, just the tag lines alone make me wanna see this one. (“The Night Hebrew Came Home” – that’s friggin’ priceless.)

HanukkahI don’t know the character references (sorry, God), but the synopsis sounds intriguing: “Obediah Lazarus is the son of Judah Lazarus, the original Hannukiller. In 1983, Judah terrorized NY for seven nights and was preparing to sacrifice his eight year-old son, Obediah, on the eighth night. Judah was convinced it was God’s will, like Abraham and Isaac, to sacrifice his only son to God.

Luckily for Obediah, police tracked Judah down and stopped the sacrifice, but Judah was gunned down in the process. Warped by hatred with no guidance, Obediah Lazarus becomes a religious extremist, intolerant of non-Jews, “bad Jews,” and those he perceives to be enemies of the Jewish faith. He is about to unleash eight nights of horror.”

HanukkahMan, I can’t wait to hear what happens next. Will Obediah fulfill his murderous legacy? Will bad Jews be allowed to continue their God-less ways? Will everyone die, or will their only chance of survival be to embrace their faith? Oy veh – these things I need to know! You should grow like an onion with your head in the ground if you don’t go see Hanukkah. Click HERE for their Facebook™ page to get more yedie (information).

Jewish people seem pretty nice. I have yet to meet one who wants to kill me and drink my blood. To prove it, here’s a joke my Jewish neighbor told me just this morning:

“Moishe took his Passover lunch to eat outside in the park. He sat down on a bench and began eating. A little while later a blind man came and sat down next to him. Feeling neighborly, Moishe passed a sheet of matzo to the blind man. The blind man handled the matzo for a few minutes, looked puzzled, and finally exclaimed, “Who wrote this shit?”

I have no idea why I find that to be so funny.

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