Horror High

Evil Bong 3-D: The Wrath of BongA hippie nor stoner am I, although I do enjoy an occasional snifter of Budweiser™ every now and again as the occasion dictates. So the appeal of the upcoming Evil Bong 3-D: The Wrath of Bong, holds very little appeal to me. Yes, it’ll be presented in 3-D and “Sniff-O-Rama.” Yes, it’ll have record amounts of naked alien beauties, boobies, and reefer hits to ever be presented in 3-D. (That’ what they’re claiming.) And yes, it’ll premier on National Pot Day, April 20, 2011. Outside of the naked alien chicks and boobies, I’m just not feeling it.

Stoner humor/horror only works if you’re baked. To watch stuff like Gravestoned (2009), Evil Bong 2: King Bong (2009) is tedious and boring and ass-numbingly dumb while sober. And yet, there’s always the exception to the rule. I cite Cheech & Chong’s Up In Smoke (1978) as the stoner standard (even over Reefer Madness/1938), even though it isn’t classified as a horror movie. I suppose it might be if C&C smoked some pot and turned into zombies and ate people’s brains because they think brains taste like Fritos™. Wishful thinking.

So go get high, watch Evil Bong 3-D: The Wrath of Bong, and sleep the next day until noon. Meet me later in a dive bar and watch how a real horror movie fan takes it to the hoop.

P.S. Full Moon, the movie company behind Evil Bong 3-D: The Wrath of Bong, must be high if they think no one will notice they stole the poster idea from Donnie Darko (2001). Stupid hippies.

Donnie Darko

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