The Dead Need Love, Too

Stiff“I don’t want to die…I just don’t want to be alive anymore.”

Can’t have it both ways, dude. Troy wants to kill himself, but he’s being a wuss about it. So while he’s taking up supermodel scented-air that you or I could be breathing, Lorri, a crisis counselor/necrophiliac, intervenes. Dang it.

During their counseling sessions, Lorri tells Troy her deepest, most icky desire: to have sex with a dead guy. Well, heck – this relationship is a match made in Heaven. A pact is made: Troy will off himself, and Lorri will have full permission to conduct an X-rated bedspring symphony with his corpse. But stupid Troy starts falling for Lorri and feels life may be worth living for after all. Not so fast, killer – a deal is a deal.

The movie, Stiff (Cinema Epoch, 2010), wrestles with matters of life, death and heart-shaped rigor-mortis. Gruesome and somewhat taboo topic, yes. But it’s been exploited several times before, most notably with 1987’s ultra-lurid Nekromantik.


Made in Germany, where most f’d up flicks about death and back door body substances are made, Nekromantik is about a street cleaner named Rob and his girlfriend Betty. He cleans up after vehicle accidents and brings body parts home to, um, augment their fetish lifestyle, which is to have sex with a rotting corpse. No holding hands and going for walks to Starbucks™ for these two.

One day Joe hits the car wreck jackpot – an intact dead guy. He brings it home, and he and Betty do stuff to it most guys wouldn’t allow even while living. Ultimately, Betty falls in love with the corpse and leaves Joe, taking her ripe lover with her. Despondent, Joe kills himself in a way that I’d rather not go into as it is SO ICKY. Now all Betty has to do is find a shovel. Ahem.

NekromantikStiff, however well-meaning, doesn’t even get in the lobby of the shocking and graphic nature of Nekromantik. That’s good, because no one should see these types of horror films more than, I don’t know, five or six times.

Gotta strong stomach? May I suggest Nekromantik 2 (1991) – it’s twice as, uh, romantic as the first one.


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