Godzilla vs. Japan. Again.

GojiraGodzilla, king of monsters, has a proven track record of taking out everything from skyscrapers to other giant monsters that are the size of skyscrapers. And that kind of spiritual inspiration is just what the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society (i.e., “whale huggers”) have invoked to make Gojira (Godzilla’s birth name), their new anti-Japanese whaling boat weapon.

GojiraLooking like something designed to stop Godzilla himself, the Seattle P.I. reports that Gojira is a “swift and ominous-looking interceptor vessel, replacing the trimaran Ady Gill, the bow of which was sheared off after it was struck in January by a Japanese whaling ship in the frigid waters of Antarctica.” Of course the waters of Antarctica are frigid – that’s where imported ice cubes come from. Geez.

The P.I. further goes on to say that Gojira is headquartered on San Juan Island and is led by Captain Paul Watson, who earlier co-founded Greenpeace (i.e., hippie club). The San Juan Islands are not far from where I ride up and down skyscrapers, so maybe I’ll go there to see if they’ll let me drive Gojira around and see if I can pick up any sea chicks. Chicks dig futuristic anti-whaling boats. I hear it gets ’em hot.

Of course, Godzilla himself has some experience with boat-crushing. Shown here in a picture out of the Bible™, Godzilla intercepts some toga-wearing Jesuits from over-fishing and depleting the ocean of G’s main source of protein outside of Mothra sushi.

GojiraGiven how Godzilla’s name and likeness is trademarked up the whazoo (is that how you spell “whazoo”? It might in fact be “wazoo”), I’m wondering if Big G’s attorneys aren’t gearing up to do a little boat-smashing themselves. And given that the whaling boats Gojira is going after are from Japan, it’s adding insult to injury (though it is pretty darn funny).

If I was an attorney, I’d sue the rudder off of them.


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