Lost Woods: Bigfoot Gone Wild

Lost WoodsWhile I have yet to see a movie about Sasquatch that doesn’t suck pinecone, Lost Woods, a new indie horror flick (in post-production as of this writing), might be the one to change all this pinecone sucking.

The photos of Sasquatch (or whatever they’re calling it) look pretty cool, depicting our forest friend as looking like the bass player of some hippie reggae group that plays in the key of evil, and/or a malevolent creature that snacks on lost campers. At the very least, he/it doesn’t look like a guy in a gorilla suit, like the ones in all the other Sasquatch movies.

Lost WoodsBut the movie producers seem to be steering clear of even invoking the hallowed name of Sasquatch, focusing instead on the horrifying human condition. Here’s a bit of the plot outline…

Darrin Noland leads a deliberate and careful life, but when his old friends spring a camping trip on him it’s a good time he can’t run from. The escape turns south when Darrin finds out the unsettling news that Warren, someone he has avoided since junior high, is also along for the ride. Darrin attempts to avoid an awkward reunion but horrible events cause him to face his regretful past and take on his beast within.

Lost WoodsAt no point to you see the words, “face rip,” “limb sever,” “strewn guts” or “cannibalistic pincecone stalker.” That’s OK; I like to be surprised.

A clue to the Sasquatch monster’s origin is in the “regretful past and take on his beast within” phrase. Maybe Darrin is like a werewolf in that he can change back to human form and hope alcohol will come to the rescue. (If they haven’t done so, I’d like to offer up Werefoot as a name for the “beast within.”)

Lost Woods I’m all about a movie that has Sasquatch (or whatever it is) in it, just as long as it doesn’t make me regret spending $3 to rent it. But if the trailer is any indication [click HERE], Lost Woods looks to be worth twice that. OK, that wasn’t me being snarky –  I have far too much respect for Sasquatch to belittle him that way. Hell for all I know about Lost Woods, the Sasquatch could very well be an alien. If that’s the case, forget everything I said about this movie having Sasquatch in it, thereby me retaining my street cred.

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