Demons: Then And Now

Night of the Demons 1988In 1988, a bunch of law-disregarding teens break into the abandoned Hull House Mortuary to have a Halloween heavy metal vomit party. This was the scene where the Hull family was murdered by an unknown something or rather. Creepy, yet ambient.

During a seance (made probable with alcohol and vomit), a demonic entity was released from the crematorium’s corpse BBQ furnace. One by one the party ’tards, who have split off to have pre-marital relations in coffins and other acts of kindness, are possessed by the double-evil spirit. Anyone left standing is submitted to relentless peer pressure to demon-up before the break of dawn sends everyone back to Heck.

The movie’s other points of interest are original scream queen Linnea Quigley’s “lipstick-into-the-boob” scene, a ground-breaking moment for all of mankind.

Night of the Demons 2010

In 2010, a bunch of college idiots throw a Halloween party in the Broussard Mansion, where eighty years earlier six people disappeared without saying goodbye. The mansion’s owner, Evangeline Broussard, hung herself there, giving the plot a reason to do something other than watch a bunch of dumbass people get drunk and even more stupid.

The police arrive to arrest everyone for acting poorly. But seven (hmm — that sounds familiar) decide to hide out and continue the festivities. As it happens, demonic entities need seven “vessels” in order to break free of the curse that put them there. Possession and graphic face-ripping ensues. But the most shocking moment comes when they discover their cell phones no longer work. (You’re shuddering in fear already, aren’t you?)

The Night of the Demons remake, with about 10 minutes of thought going into the plot, is not without a bit of horror pedigree. Eye candy screen savers Diora Baird (as Lily) previously starred in Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006); Monica Keena (as Maddie) was in Freddy vs. Jason (2003); and Shannon Elizabeth was in the Thir13en Ghosts (2001) remake and the lunch-recycling Cursed (2005).

demon in the sackAll of this, however, pales in comparison to the original Night of the Demons’ Linnea Quigley, the Goldie Hawn of Horror, who appeared as Suzanne, a slutty sexy party girl who takes off her clothes and shows everything, even her zip code. Mind you, she’s done it before in such pant-stiffening horror classics as Return of the Living Dead (1985) and Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers (1988) to Dr. Alien (1989) and Mari-Cookie and the Killer Tarantula in 8 Legs to Love You (1998). Linnea’s score card: over 100 movies, 25 scary movie documentaries, and countless appearances in everything from soundtracks to film magazines. And some even feature her WITH clothes.

A note to Diora, Monica and Shannon: You’ve got a LOT of underwear to drop before you can step into the, um, panties of one of horror’s all-time greatest — and sexiest — scream queens. And you’re waiting why?

Night of the Demons 2010 sounds promising, but you really need to see the original in order to put demons, vomit, coffin sex and lipstick-in-the-boob into proper perspective.

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