Vintage Monsters Eat Your Eyes

Vintage Monsters

Though the printed word is nearly as dead as Dracula’s brother’s neighbor’s cousin (books are so 2004), that hasn’t stopped some people from committing publishing suicide. Take Vintage Monsters magazine for example. A German/English monster magazine overflowing with classic horror and science fiction lobby card/movie poster art, incredible illustrations, and pictures of girls without their clothes on (I totally made up that last part), you’d think people would be making bears in their pants to get a copy. And they should. (Buying the magazine, not making pant bears.) And yet with the cost of color printing combined with everybody reading stuff on the internet (the world’s biggest gossip column), Vintage Monsters has a tough straße ahead.

The first issue (or “issue #1”) is written in both German talk and English speak, and is actually pretty darn amazing, with rarely seen stills and posters from such obscure horror gems as The Black Pit of Dr. M (1959), Taste the Blood of Dracula (1974), and the freakin’ hard-to-find Planet of the Vampires (1965). Just so you have closure, Dr. M’s pit is not quite black; it’s more of a dark charcoal gray. Dracula’s blood tastes like chicken. And Planet of the Vampires is way better than Daybreakers.

Vintage Monsters So yeah, you need this magazine. Here are its stats: Vintage Monsters is published in Hamburg, Germany. Retail price for the first issue is $7.50 US/5,00- Euros. Shipping rates for one or two copies within Europe are $4.20 US/3,20- Euros. Outside Europe, airmail rates for up to three copies are $8.00 US/6,00- Euros. Order it by contacting the publishers at info@VintageMoviePosters.de

Still not sold? Then quit surfing sites like http://www.farthammer.com and http://www.thingspeopleputintheirbutts.org and check out their web page (click HERE). The site is in some sort of weird dialect, so go pick up Rosetta Stone, the language teaching software, spend several months learning how to der speak Germanese, then go back to the site and fill your mind with classic monster and sci-fi stuff.

The guys behind the magazine are Andreas Schiefler (owner of Vintage Movie Posters) and Ralf Lorenz (Gualagon, Pranke: Das Filmmagazin für Monsterfreaks). Andreas’ movie posters site has das boot load of vintage and extremely rare horror lobby cards, posters, stills — every thing you need to start your own magazine. Click HERE to see if I’m lying to your face.

Vintage Monsters

All of the prices are quoted in Euros. (What a dumb name for money. They should call it Border Bucks.) So if you’re sitting on a wad of Border Bucks, consider buying me an Alien movie still of Ripley in her underwear. Just tell ’em you want the “Das Unheimliche Wesen aus einer fremden Welt” when ordering by phone. Thanks, man!

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