The Back Side of Horror

I Spit On Your Grave

It used to be boobs were the go-to selling point for horror movie one-sheets. And for good reason: boobs freakin’ rock, man. Just the mere sight of exposed lady lumps under a paper-thin blouse being ripped into confetti by a werewolf or robot or some sort of humanoid from the deep was all it took to get people (OK, me) to buy a movie ticket.

The Unborn The trend these days is to put some shapely booty in the ads. No complaints here. In fact, I invoke the immortal words of one Sir Mix-A-Lot: “Give me a sister, I can’t resist her, red beans and rice didn’t miss her…” ( I don’t care who you are, Baby Got Back is a dang catchy song.)

Baby Got Back

The two well-rounded examples shown above are that Cloverfield chick (Odette Yustman) in The Unborn, and Sarah Butler as Jennifer in the I Spit On Your Grave remake. While that is for sure Odette’s full moon, I can’t be 100% sure if that’s Butler’s traffic-stopper on the Spit poster. I’ll need some time alone to, um, research it.

I Spit On Your Grave

1978’s I Spit On Your Grave, a story about a woman involuntarily dated by four smelly guys, starred Camille Keaton as the gal with knife-scented perfume. A former Playmen™ playmate of the month in 1974 (back when real women didn’t do any landscaping, if you know what I mean), Camille was not featured on the movie poster, but had someone filling in as a stunt butt. Too bad – she had a fine trunk. And even though she’s now 63, she’s still got it goin’ on.

I heartily support the trend of using backs for fronts. I hope I’m not being an ass by saying that. Yes, boobs will always be great, but rear ends truly are all they’re cracked up to be. Don’t be split down the middle on this issue. Just take it in a bottle, or take it in the can.

You can tell me to stop any time now.

One Response to “The Back Side of Horror”

  1. Appreciate it from Moortown 😉

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