Archive for the Science Fiction Category

Med Students = Dead Students

Posted in Evil, Science Fiction, Scream Queens, Slashers with tags , , , , , , , , , , on October 6, 2014 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Red Mist

Red Mist (2009) was originally called Freakdog. That’s in reference to a mentally-stunted janitor guy who works at a hospital and self-mutilates while taking pictures of naked corpses instead of mopping up guts like he should be.

Red Mist

Fixating on one of the supermodel medical students, he follows her to a club where the other med students are socially relaxing with booze and drugs. They ridicule him and call him the original movie title. He threatens to bust them for pilfering the hospital’s stash. Oh, no – this could ruin all their careers and get them cut off from mom and dad’s credit cards. So no choice but to let him party with them.

Red Mist

But first a little mood enhancer: drugs mixed with alcohol. Goading him into shotgunning the lethal mixture, he goes into a spastic coma. In order to save their medical paychecks, they dump him outside the hospital and run away. Whew – all’s well that ends well and, uh, oh… He can’t be revived, so they’re gonna have to pull the plug. If you have overwhelming feelings of guilt and remorse, now would be the time to use ’em.

Red Mist

The supermodel does a load of homework and discovers a highly experimental drug combination that might revive him. It works. Kinda. Hopped up on goofers, the guy’s soul can leave his body and take over anyone else. NOW the party can resume, with each med student meeting an appropriate revenge agenda.

Red Mist

The graphic gore is suggested and not shown, which I feel is a mistake, because when you boil it all down, Red Mist is just another back-from-the-dead revenge flick. And there are, like, eight million of those. For a better medical horror movie, try Dr. Butcher, M.D. (1979). It’s what I prescribe.

Medical Mammaries

Posted in Classic Horror, Ghosts, Science Fiction, Scream Queens with tags , , , , , , , , , , on October 2, 2014 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

The Possession of Nurse Sherri

Bare boobs in old school ’70s softcore horror flicks like The Possession of Nurse Sherri (1978) are much more satisfying than the future boobs of today. In Nurse Sherri, the entire nursing staff has mammaries the size of doctor bills. And they use ’em to get their patients feeling good again.

The Possession of Nurse Sherri

Too bad the spirit of a recently expired evil cult church guy who thinks he can resurrect the dead has leaked out and has taken over the body of Nurse Sherri and makes her kill people, which is sorta the opposite of what she was hired to do at the hospital.

The Possession of Nurse Sherri

This re-issue was originally rated X back when it was released in those wacky bell bottom-and-sideburns ’70s for its frank depiction of non-explicit humping and bold anatomical displays. The horror is secondary and unintentionally goofy, but hey, this is the stuff your parents watched when they were your age, which might explain why they’re so messed up today.

Alien Sex Fiend

Posted in Classic Horror, Science Fiction, Scream Queens with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 30, 2014 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Species

Who says chick aliens can’t be blonde supermodels with lacy bras and out-of-this-world panties? Grown under strict lab conditions like the sea monkeys we paid $2.99 for from a comic book ad (but never received), Sil is an alien life-form about to be gassed in her glass-y test tube apartment.

Species

She doesn’t like gas and manages to break out and run away where three things grow at an accelerated rate: her left boob, her right boob and her need to breed. I would like to meet this alien life-form for, um, scientific purposes, because I’m casually interested in space stuff.

SpeciesSil easily attracts men to have sex with her because she’s so hot and because she’s naked, the two basic components of life itself. The scientists, though, need to track her down before she morphs into Miss Mars Attacks and kills everyone.

Species

Fortunately for ME, Sil mates a couple of times and manages to evade those that hunt her down, eventually transforming into her true self. And what a cool true self alien she is, what with her internal organs easily viewable through her transparent cartilage that is her outer skin stuff.

Species

Sil’s rampant horniness makes sense when she finally gives birth to a freakish lunar rug rat. All of this is pretty neat, but the part where Sil walks around without earth clothes emphasizes quantum physics as it applies to the ever-expanding universe. In order for a science fiction movie like Species (1995) to be believable, you kinda gotta have that.

Big Ass Lava Spiders

Posted in Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Witches with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 24, 2014 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Lavalantula

Lavalantula (2014), a new sci-fi SyFy™Channel offering about giant tarantulas erupting from of volcanoes, could very well land in the Seven Wonders of the World™ ranking, right up there with Beer, Boobies, Waffles and Godzilla. (I forget the other two, but you can totally bet they are true wonders.)

Big Ass Spider!

Directed by Mike Mendez, the guy who did Big Ass Spider (2013), Lavalantula, looking to do a Sharknado (2013) cash in, has a tried ‘n true plot: “Lavalantulas attack Los Angeles.” F-ing brilliant!

The Paranormal Diaries: Clophill

While we’re waiting, check out another buzz word titled horror movie, The Paranormal Diaries: Clophill (2014). While I thought we all agreed to quit using “paranormal” in their titles, PDC begins in 1963 (pre-hippie period) with a black mass (church service with a really big collection plate) in Clophill, Bedfordshire by a coven of dark witches. Animal sacrifices, blood, necromancy, waffle mutilation… Scary stuff, for sure.

A documentary film team (indicating this is another one of those wretched found footage flicks) is assembled to investigate the legend of the Clophill witches and to try and uncover the truth behind the paranormal events. “What followed during that long weekend at Clophill was a terrifying journey into the unknown.”

The Paranormal Diaries: Clophill

Problem with movies like this is the “journey into the unknown” is already known as it’s been done over and over every since that highly insulting Blair Witch Project, which started the annoying “found footage” sub-genre back in 1999. Then again, horror movies aren’t usually known for originality.

Me? I’m sticking with lava spiders, beer and boobies. And waffles when no boobies are available.

Mutant Bunnies and Killer Cargo

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Giant Monsters, Misc. Horror, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Slashers with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 20, 2014 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Beaster Day: Here Comes Peter Cotton Hell

Need more schlock in your diet? I know I do, for some reason. This is why I’m moderately enthused over two new schlock horror coming down the super fun happy slide. First up is the deliciously titled Beaster Day: Here Comes Peter Cotton Hell, hopefully due just in time for that confusing and weird holiday known as Easter.

The plot – as if one is even needed: “Deep in the woods stalks a giant killer mutant Easter Bunny. Unsatisfied with nibbling on grass, he craves, chews lives on human flesh. Rock climbers, hitchhikers, and nudists alike all end up in his jaws as he devours everyone in his way. One by one the townsfolk are consumed by the evil hare, but he still remains a mystery to most of the habitants.”

Brilliance, thy name is Peter Cotton Hell.

Monster Truck

Next up is Monster Truck (aka, Dark Haul) a SyFy™ Channel “original,” premiering October 4, 2014. Wanna own it on DVD/Blu-ray? Available first quarter of 2015, released by Shout! Factory™.

What’s generically being said about this one: “The meaning of cryptic prophesy splits apart a team of secretive guardians as they transport by 18-wheeler truck, a deadly creature and its half-human sister from their now ineffective holding place to a more secure location.”

Monster Truck

My curiosity is sufficiently piqued, but I’m leaning more towards a flesh-eating Easter Bunny. The plot seems to have more to chew on. Heh.

Get Probed

Posted in Aliens, Science Fiction, UFOs with tags , , , , , , , , , on September 19, 2014 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

 

Extraterrestrial

With a title that puts it on the exam table, Extraterrestrial, a movie about alien encounters/abductions/colonoscopies, is due for release on October 17, 2014/VOD and theatres in November.

I watched the trailer. The movie’s Twitter hashtag – #GetProbed – is pretty much right on the mark…for two reasons.

Here’s how the characters’ personal space gets compromised: “April, is still reeling from her parents’ divorce when she’s dragged back to the vacation cabin she spent fond summers at as a child accompanied by a group of friends. Her trip down memory lane takes a dramatic and terrifying turn when a fireball descends from the sky and explodes in the nearby woods.”

“The group ventures out toward the crash site and discovers the remnants of a ship from another planet along with footprints that suggest its alien occupants are still alive. The college friends soon find themselves caught in the middle of something bigger and more terrifying than anything they could ever imagine.”

Extraterrestrial

I can imagine something bigger and more terrifying. Ever been “examined” by Dr. “Big Finger” Lindermund?

Extraterrestrial

REGARDLESS, I will seek this one out at my nearest TV. In the meantime, try your best not to confuse Extraterrestrial with the other Extraterrestrial, a 2011 film by Nacho Vigalondo. (I don’t know who was responsible for it, but Nacho is one seriously cool name.)

Dr.

In that movie, Dr. “Big Finger” Lindermund, descended from a race of giant hand people, arrives late for his Earth appointment, dispenses with the pleasantries AND lube, and proceeds to wreak excruciating havoc BELOW THE SURFACE. Then he sends you the bill. (Just kidding Nacho, I’m sure your movie is a lot less, um, “invasive.”)

Vampire vs. RoboCop

Posted in Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, Evil, Foreign Horror, Science Fiction, Vampires, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 18, 2014 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

 

Counter Destroyer

Also known as The Vampire Lives (1989), Counter Destroyer (ugh – sounds like something I’d come up with while under the leadership of cold hard booze) is about Joyce, a young gal needing peace and quite to finish a movie script. So she and her micro-bikini wearing, she-male voiced secretary move into a secluded, yet haunted Japanese home.

Counter Destroyer

A Taoist priest warned them not to move in as the place was already occupied by an evil vampire who jumps around, wearing Freddy Krueger knife gloves. (You don’t want to second guess Taoist priests – they know things. Spooky things.)

Counter Destroyer

After drinking a possessed soft drink, Joyce unleashes Hell. And by Hell, I mean for anyone watching this stunning piece of vampire droppings, as the plot suddenly shifts to the movie company’s secretary assassinating a rival film studio trying to make the same movie.

Counter Destroyer

When a blow-dried American boy shows up to check on Joyce and finds her arm is possessed by a vampire, he rotates counter-clockwise a few times and turns into a ninja warrior with a rifle. Think Robocop (1987) with a mullet. If you’re anything like me, you’ll get lost right after the opening credits roll.

In closing, Counter Destroyer/The Vampire Lives is insanity bad. And that’s me being nice for a change.

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