Running In Dark Circles

Horror movies with generic titles make me wanna yell inside my head. Or into an empty beer glass. And Dark Circles, a new ghost-y horror movie, is one of ’em. A slightly less than comprehensive search revealed that there are over 500 movies, both horror and boring, with the word “dark” in its title. Dark should ONLY be used to describe a submarine with a burned out light bulb, inclement weather, over-priced chocolate, quality heavy metal albums or that inconvenient truth in your shorts.

In Dark Circles, a young couple with a newborn kid who won’t let them sleep (a misfiring alarm clock in diapers), start seeing eerie things in their new house that aren’t amenities. Besides toilet paper that unrolls itself (sorry – I just made that up on the spot), the couple see the apparition of a mysterious woman who may or may not be behind all that toilet paper unrolling. And because this woman is DARK and the house is DARK and the story causing this haunting is DARK, the circles under their eyes just keep getting darker and darker until everyone looks like a raccoon and/or the Hamburgler™.

Despite its needlessly weak title, don’t let it sway you from seeing Dark Circles. It’s being released under the superior After Dark Originals 2 banner, which promises “supernatural demons, psychological killers, gruesome mysteries, and even a sci-fi sector fully equipped with aliens and a killer leprechaun.”

I’d like to go see ’em all, but there’s a lot of darkness in my wallet right now.